


Clueless

by amhrancas



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Comedy, M/M, old fic is old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-26
Updated: 2011-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-16 06:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10565331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amhrancas/pseuds/amhrancas
Summary: Maruyama Ryuhei’s family has just been relocated from Kyoto to L.A., and he now finds himself attending the Johnny H. Kitagawa Private High School for Boys and becoming fast friends with one Koyama Keiichiro.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the reel_johnny challenge and posted in 2011. Extra special thanks to joce for being my fabulous beta, to diefleder_tey for keeping me sane through numerous meltdowns and stress-fests while writing this, and to all the tacos for listening to me whine about it all for 2-3 months.

_October 16, 20XX_

_So, ok. I really have_ no clue _what I am supposed to be thinking or feeling right now. I’m such a jumbled mess of nerves, excitement, and lingering anger over being uprooted from Kyoto and dragged clear across the Pacific Ocean. Not that I blame my parents or hold any resentment towards them for this, I mean, it’s not like they_ asked _for this transfer, and not many companies in this economy would be willing to open a second position to accommodate a spousal transfer as well. I just, really,_ really _wish that I could have stayed back with Yoko and Subaru and everyone. And I was_ finally _starting to get somewhere with Matsumoto. I wonder if he would think it forward of me to ask for his Skype handle? Maybe I should get Ryo to ask? Hmmm…_  
~~~  
  
How it could possibly take half a day to in-process someone for a school was completely beyond me, and yet there I was, stuck in the offices of Johnny H. Kitagawa Private High School for Boys, watching as the clock marked the start of first period, second, and was half way into the third before the office aide finally approached me.  
  
“Mr. Maruyama?”  
  
“Yes ma’am?”   
  
“It looks like we’ve finally gotten everything in order. I do apologize, but there was a minor hang up in getting all of your transcripts sent over from your school in Kyoto. Ah, Principal Higashiyama, do you have a minute?” A tall, refined looking man was on his way out of the office and paused at her inquiry. “You’re on your way to the Library for the Arts Committee meeting, right? Could you show Mr. Maruyama here the way to his Gym class as it’s on your way?”  
  
“Of course, Mary, I’d be delighted to.” The principle took the folder of papers as she handed it over and, opening the door to the hallway, cordially turned to me and asked “Shall we?”  
  
Mr. Higashiyama gave me a quick rundown of the school’s history and policies, handing me the folder with my class schedule and student handbook while we walked through the halls. It seems that the school had been founded in 1962 and even though they had dabbled in going co-ed for a short time a few decades ago, that plan had ultimately failed and the school had remained a private boys school ever since.  
  
“Now I see in my notes here, Mr. Maruyama, that your previous school was a boys academy as well, is that correct?”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
“Good, that means it’ll be a little bit easier for you to adjust to here. If you do find that there’s anything you need help with or any questions you may think of, you’re always welcome to come by the office and any of us will be more than happy to help you out. Now, it looks like Mr. Domoto in Arts is going to be your homeroom teacher, not to be confused with the Mr. Domoto we have over in the auto shop. You’ll be meeting him tomorrow morning though, and we’ll make sure he has the rest of this paperwork before then for you.”  
  
As we approached the gym I could hear the squeaky start and stop of tennis shoes on court, followed by the repeated hollow smack of rubber ricocheting off of bleachers and bodies. A shrill whistle cut through the gym as we were entering it.  
  
“Alright! Player rotation!! Aiba, Yamashita, Kusano, Takizawa: out!! Sakurai, Nakamaru, Masuda, Imai: in!!” Select players from both sides of the gymnasium began swapping out with others from the bleachers, while the rest waited around or dribbled large red rubber balls to kill time during the switch. I could feel my stomach drop a bit and my hands get clammy instantly.  
  
 _Fuck my life. Dodgeball?_ I swear the gods were out to get me. I stood off to the side nervously with Mr. Higashiyama while we waited for the instructor to finish.  
  
“But Mr. Matsuoka,” one student still seated on the bleachers interjected. “My plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.”   
  
A tall, sleepy-looking kid on the opposite side of the court scoffed out loud at this. “Well, there goes your social life, Sho.”  
  
The teacher, Mr. Matsuoka, opted to ignore this in favor of addressing the boy named Sho, still firmly seated on the bleachers. “Oh, I’m sorry, Sakurai. Here, let me just rearrange my entire curriculum to cater to your plastic surgeon’s wishes. Get your ass out on the court.” Finally turning to the entrance, he addressed the two of us, “Mr. Higashiyama, always a pleasure to see you. Have you brought a new student for us?”  
  
“Yes.” Mr. Higashiyama responded, but to the whole class and not just the teacher. “This is Maruyama Ryuhei, our new transfer student from Kyoto. I hope you all will help welcome him to the school.” And at that he waved goodbye to Mr. Matsuoka and headed out the door.  
  
“Maruyama, huh? Well, you don’t have time to change, but you look like you could play a few rounds in those clothes.”  
  
The boy from earlier, Sho, rebounded quickly from his chastisement, and after giving me what amounted to an obviously disapproving once-over, smugly declared, “He could be a farmer in those clothes. What’s the matter honey, just get off the bus from Endora?” And with that the rest of the gym erupted into a chorus of mocking laughs straight out of a bad high-school movie, cluster after cluster of guys whispering and tittering among themselves while pointing and flashing cutting looks my way. _Seriously, guys? Seriously? You guys are_ really _going to play the catty 15 year-old girl trope? Jesus. Tell me again why I ever thought that this whole “relocating from Kyoto” thing would work out?_  
  
I looked down at my flannel jacket, Shiina Ringo t-shirt, and well-worn jeans with slight confusion and dismay. I mean, they weren’t exactly designer label, but they were a far cry from discount retail fare. Glancing back up at the mass of brand name shoes and work-out clothes, hair styles straight out of a music video or fashion spread, and more than a couple freshly bandaged nose-jobs it suddenly became _very_ clear to me that I would be facing a whole new type of learning curve at this school. A flash of movement to the left of the gymnasium caught my eye and I focused in on a lanky boy with broad shoulders enthusiastically waving me over to where he stood next to the sleepy-looking kid I’d noticed earlier. To say that they both made a gorgeous pair would have been an understatement, but then perusing the rest of the students I gathered that that was the norm at this school. The two did, however, stand a fair amount taller than the rest of the class. And the sad thing was, 10 minutes earlier and I would have casually nodded back, maybe waved, or ignored them for the time being while I felt out the lay of the land as it were, but it’s funny how quickly a person’s vulnerabilities and insecurities rush to the surface when they’re facing an ominous round of dodgeball and have just been on the receiving end of a public cut down. In all honesty, at this point they could have been rejects from the cast of _Revenge of the Nerds_ and I probably still would have been elated to see a welcome from _someone_.   
  
“Hey, come hang with us! You can be on our team,” the waving one said. Judging by the look on his companion’s face I could tell that he was not yet sold on this friending idea, but at this point, I wasn’t about to say “no.”  
  
“Um, ok?” The shorter of the two had dark hair and a striking face with features that reminded me of a fox. He introduced himself as Koyama Keiichiro and his friend as Ohkura Tadayoshi, or Kei and Tacchon. Tacchon, unlike Koyama, had a face that at first glance read as somewhat off, being that it really wasn’t balanced at all. But it was that same asymmetry when combined with a softness of features and seemingly permanent bedroom eyes that gave his face a potency every bit as strong as his friend’s. From across the gym I had thought they were gorgeous, up close they were breathtaking. What was the deal with this place? Was there something in the water that just helped foster beautiful children?   
  
"Koyama, are you sure about this?” Picking up on Tacchon’s apprehension I quickly stepped up to offer a way out of our teaming up.  
  
“I should let you both know, I suck epically at dodgeball. Hand-eye coordination and I are not in any way on good terms, so if you want to rethink this—“  
  
“Oh no, really, that doesn’t matter at all,” Koyama was quick to interrupt, grabbing my arm and pulling me along further into their side of the court. “I figure Tacchon’s just going to take advantage of your size and use you as a human shield anyway, so it really doesn’t matter.” At that comment I could see Tacchon’s gaze narrow a bit as he appraised my height and shoulder width for a second.  
  
“I’m sold. Get over here and grab a ball.”  
  
 _Oh, joy._ I began lamenting to myself. _This was gonna be_ so _much fun._  
  
But it turned out in the end that it actually _was_ fun. Koyama’s energetic personality was impossible to ignore and after a short while its infectiousness was as well. After discovering that Tacchon really was a bit of a coward once the game began, it became rather easy to pick up on Koyama’s prompts and openings to torment him a bit. Even though the game itself seemed more like an exercise in futility on my part, I was still able to land a couple perfectly aimed shots at that Sho kid. My day was definitely looking up.  
~~~  
  
“You guys, I just want to say thanks for what you did back there, that was really nice and you didn’t have to call me over like that.” We were on our way to the cafeteria after class, all three of our lunch breaks serendipitously aligning. I had to admit, after my initial interactions at this school it felt nice having someone take me under their wing, especially someone as respected and admired as Koyama appeared to be.  
  
“Oh that? Don’t even think about it. I’m glad we did too, because you seem really cool. At least you know how to have fun, right? And don’t even worry about what Sho said, that’s just his poorly developed defense mechanism.”  
  
“Exactly,” Tacchon joined in, “It’s really just best to brush off anything he says; it’s all pretty pointless anyway. That being said, maybe we should grab a table before they all get filled up?”  
  
While Koyama and Tacchon got settled at a table, Tacchon casually glancing at his cell phone as it buzzed, I took the opportunity to familiarize myself a little with the cafeteria which was strikingly more like an open-air food court by my estimation. Spying a beverage kiosk across the room from us, I zeroed in on what I had been hoping for.  
  
“Hey, I’m gonna run and grab an iced tea, do you guys want anything?” I asked, setting my backpack down in a chair to reserve my seat.  
  
“Sure, I’ll take one.”  
  
“Thank you, that would be nice. Did you see where they were?” Koyama asked.  
  
“Yup, I’ll be right back.”   
  
As great as it was to have new friends already, dealing with everything that had happened in the morning did seem a little overwhelming and it was nice to have a few minutes to myself to recollect my thoughts. After scooping up three bottles of tea I waited in line for the register and instead enjoyed a moment to close my eyes and think of absolutely nothing at all.  
  
“Shiina Ringo? She’s an amazing vocalist.”  
  
My eyes snapped open and I confusedly looked over at the person who had spoken to me. Dark, longish hair and eyes hidden behind tinted sunglasses faced me, as a guy wearing clothes 2 sizes too baggy for his frame raised his hand, waving “hi” with two fingers. “You’re the new kid, right? From Kyoto?”  
  
“News really does travel fast around here. Yeah. Maruyama Ryuhei, well—Maru.”  
  
“Jin. Nice to meet you.”  
  
“Likewise, Jin, and you actually know who Shina Ringo is?” I couldn’t hide the fact that I was both impressed and excited, and the two of us chatted about music for a bit while moving up the line. He also let me in on where the good places in town to catch a show were. Jin had an aura to him that was both aloof and endearing, and I found it incredibly easy to talk to him as he just naturally slipped into the role of listener in a conversation. “I’m sorry, I’m totally taking over this conversation.” I laughingly apologized.  
  
“No, no bother at all. You’re fun to listen to, Kyoto.” We both paid for our drinks and stepped away from the counter. “It was good talking to you. I’ll see you around?”  
  
I couldn’t help but allow a ridiculous smile to spread across my face as I waved back. “Definitely.” Returning to the table I set down my bottle and offered the remaining two to Tacchon and Koyama. “So, guys, I just met this really cool guy over in the line—“  
  
“Really? Who is he?”  
  
“Oooh, do tell…” Koyama’s and Tacchon’s responses overlapped each other as they swiveled away from their conversation to focus on me, Tacchon’s phone buzzing again as he rolled his eyes and shoved it further down the table.  
  
“So to start off with, he knew who the singer on my shirt was, and then he told me about this club downtown where some amazing bands I know like to play when they hit this area. He is also seriously gorgeous.” I looked around in the direction he had walked off in hoping to be able to point him out. “I’m not seeing him right now, but his name is Jin.”  
  
“Jin? Akanishi Jin?”   
  
“Um, I didn’t get his whole name…”  
  
“Oh no, there’s only one Jin here so it was him.” Koyama clarified. “Look, Maru, Jin’s not the kind of guy you want to be hanging around with. He hangs with all these stoners and drunks and is known for causing a _lot_ of problems for the people who _do_ get involved with him. I mean sure, we all laugh at him when his says boneheaded things in class, and if you’re up for some kinky fling on the downlow then hey, whatever suits you, but being associated with Jin would be social suicide for you right now. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”  
  
I was completely thrown back by the sudden seriousness of Koyama’s tone and the stern look Tacchon was giving to accompany it. Both of them fixated on me as though the answer I would give would make or break the fate of the world.  
  
“No?” I lamely offered, and at that they both visibly relaxed, Koyama picking up the conversation again.  
  
“Oh good. I mean, Maru, you have something going for you that no one else at this school does, you should totally play to that strength right now.”  
  
“The entire Evangelion Collection including Director’s Cuts?”  
  
Tacchon’s head suddenly snapped up, all attention to his food seemingly lost, and for a few seconds he eyed me shrewdly before asking “Are you, by any chance, familiar with Monster Hunter?”  
  
“Monhan? Yeah! I love that game, my friends and I played it back home all the time. Do _you_ play?”   
  
“NO. No he doesn’t.” Koyama curtly interrupted, glaring at Tacchon as he curtailed that end of our conversation. “And neither do you, for that matter. At least not until you’ve established yourself enough here that you can afford to tack on a couple of gamer quirks. What I meant, Maru, was that you have _mystery_. Nobody here knows anything about you, for all they know you were the coolest guy back at your old school; you can totally use that to your advantage to become anyone you could want to be. Although if you really want to embrace social exile outright, the otaku usually hang out in the library basement. I’m sure Ninomiya and Miyata would be thrilled to welcome one more into the fold. If not, I think the first thing we need to do is get you a guy.”  
  
“I need a guy?”  
  
“If you want to fit in here you do. Wasn’t it like that at your old school?”  
  
“Not really. So who are you dating then?”  
  
“Oh Kei’s not dating anyone right now. He’s got attitude about high school boys.”  
  
“What about you, Tacchon?”  
  
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll see him here sooner or later. Is he the one blowing up your phone, Tacchon?”  
  
“Uuugh. YES. He has been driving me _insane_ lately. This weekend he called me up and he’s all ‘Where were you today?’ and I’m like ‘at my grandmother’s house’…”  
  
Koyama leaned closer to me while Tacchon continued to rant, whispering, “So, Tacchon and his boyfriend Koki are in this dramatic relationship. I think they’ve seen that Ike and Tina Turner movie just too many times, you know?” Then he continued at normal volume. “Tacchon, why do you put up with it? You could do so much better.”  
  
“Oh no, shhh. Here he comes.” I shifted to face the direction Tacchon was glancing and saw a small group of guys approaching our table, complete with low slung designer jeans and belts, wife-beaters, doo-rags, a plethora of dangling chains and black nail polish. Leaning back towards Koyama I quietly asked, “So, is this the Johhny’s version of ‘Street’?”  
  
The guy in the front of the group stepped up to the table “’Sup? Woman, why don't you be answerin' any of my texts?”  
  
“Bitch, I hate it when you call me woman.”  
  
“Where you been all weekend? What's up? You been jeepin' behind my back?”  
  
“Jeepin'?”  
  
“Jeepin.”  
  
“Jeepin'? No. But, speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this Yomiuri Giants jersey got into the back of your car?” Tacchon reached into his backpack and yanked out a wadded up baseball jersey and threw it on the table in front of Koki.  
  
“I don't know where that came from. That looks like one of your little sports jerseys.”  
  
“I DO NOT root for Tokyo teams!! Unlike some people I know, like _Kame._ ”  
  
Seeing that this was heading nowhere fast, Koyama gave me a nudge and moved to pick up his bag. “Tacchon, we’re heading out, catch you later. ‘Bye, Koki.”  
  
Both of them turned to smile and wave at us, before launching right back into it with each other.  
  
“Why do you gotta go there? Is it that time of the month again?”  
  
I could hear Tacchon’s strangled shriek of rage as we walked away and Koyama just started laughing and shaking his head. “Are they gonna be alright?” I asked.  
  
“Tachhon and Koki? Oh yeah, this is just a regular Monday for them. They’ll be right back to being all over each other again in about a half hou—hey, you know what, I just got an idea. Did you see that tall guy back there with Koki’s group?”  
  
I glanced back over my shoulder to double-check the guys. “You mean the one with the sinfully amazing hair? Yeah. Why?”  
  
“That’s Taguchi Junnosuke. He’s incredibly popular and funny and quite recently single since he and Fujigaya broke up. I’m suddenly thinking that you two would be pretty good together. You want?”  
  
I looked back once more, pondering both him and his long legs for a minute. “Taguchi Junnosuke, eh? Well, it certainly couldn’t hurt to get to know the guy.”  
  
“Oh my God, yea!!! Project!!!” Koyama skipped a little bit and then turned to me, “I’ll talk to him about you during 5th period. I gotta get to class though, talk to you later, ‘k?”  
  
“See ya!” As I headed off to my own class I could only laugh at the whole surreal nature of this day. At least this school didn’t look like it was going to be boring.  
  
~~~  
  
Fifth-wheeling it in an already established group of people is always awkward, but as the days went by I felt more comfortable hanging out with everyone. It also helped that Koyama has amazingly good people skills and managed to always include me into conversations and activities, being especially diligent about this whenever Taguchi (or Junno, he had told me to call him) was around. In all honesty, it was so hard _not_ to want to hang out with them. Tacchon and I would sneak in conversations about Monhan whenever Koyama wasn’t paying attention, and when he was his infectious cheerfulness and attention to others just made almost everyone love him. And even those who didn’t had to begrudgingly give props to him for his recent success hooking Mr. Domoto from Shop up with Mr. Domoto from Art. Apparently _everyone’s_ grades had benefited from that venture.   
  
  
About a week after I had started classes at Johnny’s I found myself at Koyama’s house for some more “image planning.” Apparently it was pretty critical that I choose the right extracurricular activities, so that I could share more “coincidental” time with Junno.  
  
“So, _other_ than video games and anime, what kind of activities would you be interested in?”  
  
Setting my soda down on the coffee table I sat back and thought for a minute. “Do they have class representatives here? I was in student government back at my old school so I suppose I could do something like that here?”  
  
“Really? You were?” Koyama looked both genuinely surprised and impressed at this and I couldn’t help but feel a little smug.  
  
“You know I actually _was_ pretty popular back home.”  
  
“Apparently so. Awesome. But this really does work out great because Junno works a lot with the student council. You wouldn’t be able to formally sit on the committee until elections next semester, but you can certainly be a student volunteer.” Koyama was jotting some notes down when we were interrupted by the sudden appearance of a guy who I guessed to be 2-3 years older than us.  
  
“Hey space cadet, what’cha up to? You almost look studious over there.”  
  
“Uuugh. Shige, why do you insist on living here when you so clearly don’t? Maru, this is Shige, my ex-step brother. Shige, this is my friend Maru. He just moved here from Kyoto and we’re making a list of student activities for him to join.”  
  
“Right. And how exactly does this benefit you, I wonder? Let’s face it Kei, you’re not exactly one to step outside of your own world unless there’s something in it for you.”  
  
“Hey! Maybe I actually _want_ to do something nice for others. It’s not like I never want to do anything for humanity.”  
  
“How about sterilization, then?” I had to laugh at that one and the look that Koyama was shooting at Shige as he headed into the next room was doubly hilarious. “Catch you guys later, it was nice to meet you, Maru.”  
  
“Damn, Koyama. He is gorgeous. Is he in college or something?”  
  
“Wait, what? Shige? Yeah, he’s majoring in Law. You really think he’s hot?”  
  
“Stunning. You cannot tell me that you’ve never noticed it.” Judging by the fact that Koyama was looking at me as though I has just sprouted three heads I gathered that he had not.  
  
“I guess it’s not so much that I’ve never noticed it. I dunno, I suppose it’s just that in my head he’s just ‘Shige’, and therefore requires no further descriptors? I mean, looks aside, he has the personality of a marker board at a Geometry Bee meet.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes. That boy is tragically lame.”  
  
“Thus making for endless mocking funtimes for you?”  
  
“But of course. Now, focus, Maru. We’re focusing on Junno here. Oh, and by the way, those pictures I took the other day when we all went out for pizza? I got them developed and when I was showing them to Junno he totally kept one of you.”  
  
“Wait—he did what?”  
  
“Seriously. I noticed it was missing and then later saw it up in his locker.” Koyama started digging around through his backpack and pulled out a packet of photos. “Here’s the rest if you want to look at them.”  
  
“Definitely!” I readily took the packet from him and started flipping through the shots. “Kei, these are really good. I’m totally jealous of your camera. Oh wow. Especially this one.” I held up a head-shot of Junno that looked like it could have come straight out of a fashion magazine. “Can I keep this one?”  
  
“Yeah, sure!! He does look amazing there.” And he really did. Looking at the picture I was completely charmed by his smile, and as I thought back on all the hilariously awful jokes he was telling that day I had to admit that my heart twinged a little for him.  
  
~~~  
  
 _November 26, 20XX_  
 _Taguchi Junnosuke. What exactly am I supposed to be feeling for this guy right now? Both Koyama and Tacchon seem to agree that he’d be great for me. And I_ do _have to admit that I am ever the sucker for bad jokes. The lamer the better, really. Plus the fact that he has legs which go on for_ ever _only helps. I mean, it’s not like there’s a barrage of hot_ single _guys out there who are taller than me, well, with the exception of Kei and Tacchon. Anyway, Koyama really thinks that I might be his type and apparently he still has that picture up in his locker, so I guess they must be right? I can’t deny that the thought of that makes me more than a little fluttery._  
~~~  
  
The semester end was fast approaching and I found myself floundering around a little at trying to catch up on all my papers and projects that were coming up due, primarily the one for Mr. Domoto’s Modern Art in Culture course. Sadly, with all the amazing amenities our school had to offer, it still seemed to fall woefully short in the area of research variety in the library. Shige was kind enough to take Koyama and me to the University library so we could work on our papers, or more accurately, so I could work on my paper and Kei could follow Shige around complaining that he was bored and how he couldn’t believe that he was spending his Saturday with such a loser. By the third hour of pouring over books and typing up notes my eyes felt like they were permanently starting to cross. Leaning back in my chair I closed my eyes for a minute in an attempt to erase the semi-permanent image of my laptop screen from the backs of my retinas. I was supposed to meet back up with the others at 4, meaning I still had another hour of work to get done before we had Shige drop us off at the mall. Apparently Nordstrom was getting their samples in for the Spring lines and I had to admit I was itching to see what they had, letting my mind wonder at the possibilities. Only when I heard the chair across from mine being pulled out and something being set on the table did I open them again, expecting to see Koyama or Shige.  
  
Most certainly _not_ expecting to see Jin.  
  
He didn’t say anything at first, instead opting to push the bottle of tea he had placed on the table over towards me. “You look tired, Kyoto.” After a quick glance at some of the books I had spread out on the table he asked “Paper for Domoto’s class? Which one?”  
  
At first I just sat there in a daze, my mind trying to make sense of the situation. After a while I reached over for the tea and picked it up to look at the label. It was the exact same kind as I had bought my first day on campus.  
  
“Modern Art in Culture. You’re in a library.”  
  
“I am. It has been known to happen on occasion. Modern Art? You’ll probably want to check out Clifford and Sanders. They’re your best bet for academic sources on the subject. You should be able to find both over in the third aisle back over there. ”   
  
“Wow.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“No, it’s nothi—you know, you’re actually kind of smart, aren’t you?”  
  
“This is true. You sound surprised, though.”  
  
“No, well—yeah, I am. It’s just—every characterization I’ve come across of you makes you out to be this giant loadie frat boy incapable of a comeback wittier than ‘midget’ or ‘boobs.’” At this Jin leaned back in his chair saying nothing. His face uncharacteristically blank as he looked at me. To say it was unnerving would have been an understatement and I found myself worrying if I had said something insulting to him while at the same time wondering why I was so concerned about it. “I mean, it’s not like you actively do anything to counter these ideas...”  
  
“Maybe because I shouldn’t _have_ to? I figure, if people are too wrapped up in a lie to bother trying to see the truth, why should I care about their opinion?”  
  
“That actually makes sense.” I looked back down at the bottle of tea in my hands, nervously passing it from left to right. “Thank you. For this, and the help.”  
  
“Of course it does. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m scheduled to be over on a grassy knoll with the rest of the “loadies.” And at that, either ignoring my thanks or simply choosing to not acknowledge it, he got up and made his way down one of the aisles, disappearing into the stacks.  
~~~  
  
 _December 22, 20XX_  
 _I swear to God. I was normal before moving to this town. I knew what good music was. I was up to date on politics, and CULTURE. OH GOD. Do I even remember what culture is anymore? I DON’T KNOW!!! I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think of is whether the Junya Watanabe pinstripe or the Cole Haan argyle socks will match with the Dolce denim bow tie. Not what’s happening in Libya. Not the implications of the declining quality in television programming and what that reflects about society today._ FUCKING. SOCKS. _What the hell?? I just, don’t even know who I am anymore. Why did we even leave Kyoto? Do you think Junno would like Kyoto? I wonder if he likes argyle socks… I should ask Koyama. Koyama would know._  
~~~  
  
  
So we had found out on Thursday that there was going to be a pretty hot party down in the Valley on Friday, and after some debate amongst ourselves it was determined that I would head over to Koyama’s and Koki and Tacchon would pick us up and drive from there. Koyama was practically bouncing out of his seat on the ride over there as apparently Junno was supposed to be there and Koyama was “dead certain” that he was going to make his move tonight. I had to admit, the prospect _was_ an exciting one.  
  
As we arrived Koyama and I stopped for a moment to chat with a couple of friends before heading into the house to catch up with Tacchon. Within a matter of seconds of us walking through the doorway I spotted Kame moving in on Koki, practically dancing his way into his lap (an impressive feat, considering both men were still standing), and it was all I could do to not bust up laughing when Tacchon, positively seething, came stalking up behind them, lacing his fingers firmly into Kame’s hair and ripping him off of Koki, their mutual shrieking fading into the music as Koyama led me into a neighboring room to “make the rounds.”  
  
The bass was pounding through the floorboards, pulsing up into the souls of my shoes, echoing back the pounding of my heart. For a moment I was caught up in the memory of the last concert I had been to, Tokyo Jihen in Osaka, and a pleasant nostalgia started to buzz through me. As we made our way around the rooms of the house looking for the bar area, I glimpsed a flash of bold navy V-neck accented with heather grey through the smoky haze and crowds.  
  
“Hey, Koyama, isn’t that the Dolce capo you were wearing yesterday? “  
  
Koyama froze mid-step, pivoting left as his eyes followed the direction of my head tilt, effortlessly re-routing our course as he locked target on the disjointed dance moves of the ensemble-ly challenged individual flailing his hands around, completely off-beat. I could almost read the words running through his head at that very instant, _Was that--_ seriously _\-- a_ hoodie _underneath that sweater?_ Shaking his head Koyama smoothly sauntered closer.  
  
“Hey Sakurai, was that you going through my laundry?”   
  
“As if.” Sho flippantly tossed back as he spun around to face his accuser. “Like I would—Hey, Koyama, hey-- where are you going?” Sho sputtered after us, both of us having already moved on past his tragic presence.   
  
“Oh, hey, Nakamaru’s waving me over. Wait here a sec, would you?” Koyama suddenly asked, and before I could even respond he was half-way to the kitchen. Laughing a bit to myself I leaned back against the wall and took in the lay of the room, which was entirely too crowded for a house that size. _I wonder if Junno is here yet? Koyama did say he was supposed to show. I mean, Nakamaru was already here, and the two of them rarely went anywhere that the other wasn’t going to be…_ My thoughts rambled on as I scouted the room, my eyes bouncing from person to person, finding none of them interesting enough to catch my—  
  
 _Oh—  
  
Oh dear God._  
  
I was suddenly riveted. Unable to turn my head away, eyes locked on the figure moving on the floor across from me. His long limbs possessing a fluidity and precision that had no right belonging to a person so notoriously lethargic. It wasn’t even as though he was moving to the music, rather, it seemed like the music was arranging itself to accompany _him_ , ridiculous as that sounds. As he turned to the right he brought his head up, tipped the brim of his fedora up a bit, and suddenly locked eyes with me. In that instant it was like my heart stopped, and then as if in a race to compensate started pulsing again double-time. I could feel a flush creeping up my neck and quickly looked down, breaking the contact, before looking back up at him. Jin was still standing there, looking at me, and with a half smirk he raised a cup and pointed to it, mouthing the word “Drink?” I nodded my head yes, mouthing “Sure!” back at him, and he disappeared into the crowd for a minute, reappearing at my side holding two large Dixie cups full of beer.  
  
“Here you go. I’m a little surprised to see you here without your bodyguard.”  
  
“Umm, thanks,” I took one of the cups from him, still a little frazzled at my earlier reaction to him, and just a little puzzled at his comment, then laughing as its meaning hit. “Oh, you mean Koyama? Nah, he’s in the other room right now.” I took a cautious first sip, having been forewarned about the travesty which was house party keg beer, pleasantly surprised when the taste revealed a lightly sweet hoppy-ness.  
  
“Harp?”  
  
Jin laughed at my reaction “You know, not everyone in the Valley has shitty taste in beer.”  
  
“Apparently not,” I quipped, following it up with a proper drink. We both stood there next to each other in a comfortable silence, listening to the music and people watching, the whole while part of my brain still being acutely aware of just how close Jin was standing in the crowded room. I waited until Jin made a move to drink before speaking, gesturing to the half of the room which had been delegated a dance floor.  
  
“You know, you were amazing over there. Dancing.”  
  
“That? Nah, that’s just something that I do.” The nonchalant tone did a lousy job of hiding his appreciation of the compliment, a hint of awkwardness showing itself as he started to shift his weight back and forth from one foot to the other.  
  
“No, seriously,” I replied earnestly. “You’re good. Have you ever thought about talking to Mr. Tomoyuki about Dance programs?”  
  
Jin looked down at his drink, fixating on the way his fingers played with the plastic lip as he let out an embarrassed laugh. “You’re cute, Kyoto,” he returned, eyes making a quick cut to the side as if to check for a reaction. I quickly looked down at my own drink, unable to stop a ridiculous smile from suddenly spreading across my face and my heart from tripping up again, my brain going into all-out panic mode at the perceived mutiny of my hormones. _Seriously, self, what is the deal? This is Jin. Jin, just a guy that you don’t really hang out with. Besides, you have Junno. Junno and his ridiculous puns and amazing legs. Junno who_ likes you back _. What are you even--_  
  
“There you are!!” Koyama’s voice suddenly cut through my thoughts as he made his way back into the room looking faintly exasperated at the sight of me talking to Jin. Again. And he grabbed my arm and started pulling me back the way he came. “I have been looking all over for you! Come on, Junno’s here and he was asking where you were.” We ended up out on the back patio with the rest of the gang making fun of random music and generally having a good time. At one point Junno and I even starting improvising on old Manzai routines and soon had everyone rolling on the floor. I honestly hadn’t felt that comfortable in my skin once since moving here, and it felt awesome. The glow of a comedic high was soon crushed however when the sound of Tacchon screaming about something from the bathroom reached us. Rushing inside we saw Tacchon standing in the doorway of the bathroom, with Koki inside showing off his freshly buzzed-off hair.  
  
“Why do you care what _he_ thinks, Koki? I'm the one who has to look at you! Now what the hell am I supposed to do with you?? And I am _NOT_ dying my hair back to blond to fit whatever deluded couple-look you’re thinking up right now. And right before the yearbook pictures? What am I gonna tell my grandchildren? You know what? That's it...”  
  
“That's it!” Koki playfully mocked back. I glanced warily at Koyama, both of us knowing where this was going.  
  
“You wanna play games?” Tacchon snapped back while rifling through his pockets as Koki continued to mock. “I'm calling your mother!”  
  
At those words Koki was suddenly out the door and chasing after Tacchon as he pulled out his cell phone and started dialing. “Wait! Don't call my mom! Don't call my mom...”  
  
Turning to Koyama I looked down at my empty cup and his as well and concluded that we could both use refills. “Time for another?”  
  
“Most definitely.” We elbowed our way through the ever thickening crowd to the kitchen, where in the shuffle of bodies someone accidentally dropped their glass, sending shards scattering across the tile. Bending down I started scooping up loose pieces and dropping them into my empty cup and I noticed a number of other people doing the same, Junno being one of them. As I went to pick up one of the larger pieces a girl next to me did the same and somehow in the one-second tug-of-war over the piece I wound up slicing open my finger pretty minorly. Before I could even stand up both Junno and Koyama were there, Koyama having somehow procured a first aid kit out of thin air. Without saying anything Junno took my hand and looked over the cut, asking for some gauze pads and first aid tape from Koyama. In no time at all he had me bandaged up and standing offered his hand to help me back up.  
  
“You gonna survive, Maru? I don’t need my Manzai partner fading out on me now.”  
  
“Yeah, I think I might live.” At that Junno flashed me a mega-watt smile and handed me a fresh drink as he led me back out onto the patio. I honestly thought that my heart could have stopped right then at that very moment and I would have died the happiest person on the face of the earth.   
  
As Tacchon and Koki were _still_ going at it an hour later when we decided it was time to head back, Koyama and I opted for catching a ride back with Nakamaru when he offered, which was perfect as he only lived down the street from me. When Junno offered us a ride as well Koyama leapt on that offer, insisting that he take me home, while he would ride with Nakamaru. And while my heart did get a little fluttery at the thought of being taken home by Junno, I had to completely agree with him when he pointed out that it made no sense to do that, what with Nakamaru and I living right next to each other and Koyama living a block from Junno. As we were getting ready to leave Junno tossed me something. Catching it on reflex I looked down and grinned at the package of gauze pads.  
  
“Make sure you clean that cut and change those when you get home, ok?”  
  
“Yes, sir!” And on that note I got into the car and Nakamaru headed off.   
  
As we hit the interstate Nakamaru shifted our idle conversation to something with a little more substance by asking, “So, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what exactly is going on between you and Junno?”  
  
“Honestly, I have no clue. I get so many mixed signals from that guy that I cannot figure him out. Why, has he said anything?”  
  
“No, not really. I mean, he seems to like you. He’s been flirting with you often enough these past few weeks… and holy cow you two feed off each other’s energy like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It’s almost frightening how well you work together, and I know Koyama’s off on this grand quest to hook you two up…”  
  
“But…?”  
  
“I dunno. I just—I like you Maru. You seem like a cool guy. Part of me just doesn’t want you getting too invested in Junno because Junno’s really rather invested in himself. He hurts more people simply because he cannot read the atmosphere outside of that in his own head.”  
  
“Hmm. Is that right?”  
  
“Yeah.” We both sat in silence for a while, weighing the words that had been said. Pulling up into my driveway Nakamaru shifted the car into park and turning to face me said “For what it’s worth, though, I really _do_ think he likes you, Maru. I’ve known him for what seems like forever and he definitely doesn’t put this much effort into just anyone.”  
  
“Thanks. You have a good break, Nakamaru. And thanks for the ride.”  
  
“No problem. And you too!”   
~~~  
  
The next day I headed over to Koyama’s house where he and Tacchon broke the news to me that Junno was actually _not_ interested in me, and that it was Koyama he was trying to get with this whole time. A point which he made clear the night before when he all but jumped Koyama on the drive home.  
  
“So, what, you’re saying that he used me? As a way to get to you, Kei?”  
  
“That’s what it looks like. I’m so sorry Maru, I would never have pushed for you to go after him if I had known. Are you gonna be ok?”  
  
The absolutely wrecked look on Koyama’s face and anxious concern on Tacchon’s were almost breaking my heart more than the news itself. “Yeah, well—I just—I don’t know. Are you sure? I mean everyone was saying—even Nakamaru thought…”  
  
“I’m so sorry Maru. I really am. I am _so_ going to make this up to you.”  
  
“Seriously, Maru, don’t even think about him. You are way too good for Taguchi Junnosuke.” And while I appreciated Tacchon’s words right then, I couldn’t stop some small part of me from asking myself _if I'm too good for him, then how come I'm not with him?_  
~~~  
  
The next few months passed by in a blur of family and friends and new-semester activities. It was only when I was alone at home that I was really given the opportunity to brood over how everything with Junno had just sort of crumbled to pieces around me so I made it a point to have people around me at almost all times of the day and that seemed to help a good deal. A new transfer student had come to Johnny’s, replacing me as the novelty on campus. His name was Ueda Tatsuya and apparently his family was going to be spending half the year in Japan and the other half here. Koyama had taken one look at him and fallen head-over-heels for him. Apparently they were going to be going to a party at a club together Saturday night and Koyama asked me to meet them there.  
  
When I arrived, the sound of ska music was blasting through the doors and I couldn’t help but let my energy level spike. As I made my way inside I quickly spotted Koyama and Ueda on the dance floor and picked my way through the crowd over to them. As we were chatting with each other I noticed a tall figure towards the front by the stage dancing with someone whose disjointed dance moves I had seen before and I froze for a moment.  
  
“Kei?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Is that Junno up there? And is he dancing with Sho?”  
  
“Oh God. He is. I have no clue why, though.”  
  
“Do you think he's better looking than me?”  
  
“No way, he's a full-on Monet.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“It's like a painting, see?”  
  
“I know what a Monet is, Kei.” I returned dryly.  
  
“So ok, it’s like from far away, it's ok, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Ueda, what do you think of Sho?”  
  
“Who? “  
  
“See?”  
  
I didn’t have the heart to tell Koyama that that basically proved nothing other than Ueda not knowing who Sho was, and I did have to admit that it was cute the way he kept championing for me. I smiled and nodded at Koyama, letting him know that I felt better about it, before spotting a familiar face over at the bar. “Hey, Kei, isn’t that Shige over there by the bar?” Koyama suddenly snapped to alert attention and swung around to see who I was pointing at.   
  
“Oh what a loser! I didn’t even see him come in! And what is he doing sitting over there all by himself talking with the bartender like he can’t be bothered to socialize with the rest of us. He is such a dork.”  
  
“You ready to hit the crowd, Kei?” Ueda asked as the band started up their next song.  
  
“Always~.” And at that they headed up closer to the stage where everyone was dancing and jumping up and down. Unsure of whether to join them or hang back I opted in favor of hanging back in the hopes that it would better give Koyama a chance at making a move on Ueda. I hadn’t quite figured that guy out yet. Don’t get me wrong, he had a princely beauty to him and an amazingly sweet aura, but something about him just wasn’t clicking right in my head when I tried to picture him with Koyama.  
  
“What’cha thinking so hard about over here?” I jumped at the sudden interruption of my thoughts and turned to face Shige who had abandoned his post at the bar and made his way over to my corner of the hall.   
  
“Oh, nothing much. I _am_ wondering though, what brings _you_ here tonight? Kei always makes you out to be this lame stick in the mud who never does fun or crazy things.”  
  
“Hey—I’ve done crazy things before.”  
  
“Like what?”   
  
“I— Well— Ok, fine. But I’ve _thought_ crazy things before.”   
  
“Right.”  
  
“Really though, I have. I mean, how do you know I haven’t always wanted to run off and join a ska band or something?”  
  
“Did you really? That’s honestly kind of awesome.” I continued talking with Shige for the rest of the night and he was surprisingly more entertaining than I had originally thought possible, even if I had to overlook the fact that next to Sho, he was the second worst dancer I had ever seen in my life, but at least he was funny. It was so much fun hearing stories about when their parents first got married and how he and Koyama always seemed to butt heads while growing up. The whole while we both seemed to be keeping an eye on Koyama and Ueda and as the evening wore on I finally broke down and asked, “Hey Shige, does something seem off to you about Ueda and Kei?”  
  
“What do you mean?”   
  
“That’s just it, I don’t know. I mean, I know Kei is gone over him, but I just really can’t get a feel for how Ueda feels back. It just seems like I’m getting nothing more than a friendship vibe off of him.”  
  
“Well, yeah, that’s probably because he’s straight.”  
  
“What, seriously? How do you know that?”  
  
“The bartender over there, he’s dating his sister. He’s known him for a couple of months. Kid has a girlfriend back in Japan that he talks to almost every day.”  
  
“Oh my God, you’re not joking, are you? What are we gonna do? Someone should tell Koyama…”  
  
“Nah, Kei’s smart, he’ll figure it out soon enough and if he doesn’t, I’ll flip a coin with you to see who gets to break the news. Deal?”  
  
“Deal.”  
  
“So why _are_ you here then, if it’s not to play the over-protective brother?”  
  
“I’m not his brother.”  
  
“This is true. And?”  
  
“I have my reasons,” he started, eyes once again darting out to the floor when Koyama was starting to wind his way back over towards us. “Can we agree to leave it at that?”  
  
“Yeah. That sounds fair to me.” And I agreed to let the subject drop for now.  
~~~  
  
True to Shige’s word, it didn’t take Koyama very long to find out about Ueda’s girlfriend and his desire to simply be _friends_ with Koyama. All in all Koyama took it very well and so I decided a week later to drop by for some heart-cleansing of my own. So I packed up a few items into a box and then carted it over to his house.  
  
Koyama greeted me at the door and eyed the box while making a gesture and face both of which said “Annnd, what exactly is all this?” as he ushered me into the house.  
  
“OK, see, I realized something this weekend. Junno is completely not worth my angst and grief. I mean it’s not like I was ever actually _in love_ with him, either. More that I was just hung up on the _idea_ of him. So, in celebration of me officially being SO over this whole Junno thing, I brought over all of the things I had that reminded me of him for disposal.”   
  
Koyama appraised the bulk of the copy paper box and warily asked “Umm, how on earth did you manage to amass so many keepsakes from less than a handful of encounters?”  
  
“Oh no, it’s not full, there’s just one thing that was too big for a shoebox, so I ended up shoving it all in this.” Setting the box down on the coffee table I removed the lid to reveal what was inside.  
  
“Alright, let’s see what we have, a CD of an old Manzai duo, a package of gauze squares? Is this from that Christmas party? And, a giant paper fan?” Pulling it out, Koyama casually flipped it over and froze, suddenly coming face-to-face with a blown-up version of the picture he had taken several months prior. “You… You made a Junno uchiwa?”   
  
“Shut up- No, what about it? You say that like it’s a weird thing to do.”  
  
“It’s just—I mean—It’s like a disembodied head. Staring at you. With that ridiculous grin. I just keep expecting its eyes to start gloving and some demonic voice to start spouting bad puns.”  
  
“Seriously?” I held the grinning fan out at arm’s length, warily appraising it for a few seconds before excitedly concluding that it would be _badass_ if that were to happen.  
  
“That being said. I still think it would be best to just get rid of this stuff, and all those teen magazines you gave me to read said that a “ritualistic disposal” of unwanted stuff could be cathartic, so… Whatever, here.” I thrust the box into Koyama’s hands. “Just do something to get rid of them, ok?”  
  
“Oh, ok, I guess.” Koyama quickly took the uchiwa from the top of the pile and laid it back down, this time with the face down. “Not that I’m not happy for you, but might I ask what brought about this turn of thought?”  
  
“I have found this amazing guy, Koyama. I don’t know if he’s “The One” or anything like that, but he totally makes me all tingly and happy, and I just don’t even care what. It finally hit me the other night at the concert, you know when Shige was being so awesome and laughing at my jokes even though they were completely falling flat, and then later when he was trying to dance with me…”  
  
“Wait, Shige? You’re talking about Shige?” I could almost feel a current of panic start to run through Koyama as he processed these words, his eyes stated darting back and forth from me, to the ground, and back as he took in my words as he visibly paled.  
  
“Ahem,” wasting no time in regaining control of the conversation, I snapped Koyama out of his thoughts. “As I was saying, watching Shige dance _so horribly_ with me at the concert the other night, it hit me that all I could think about was Jin. Jin and his stupid lazy, shy smile. Jin and his effortless grace, Jin and his cheesy little compliments and how he always calls me ‘Kyoto’…”  
  
“HOLD IT, WHAT?” Koyama jumped up from the couch, mouth hanging open in confused shock. “JIN? You’re talking about _JIN_? I thought you were going to say you liked Shige-- _JIN???_  
  
“No,” I calmly replied, “ _YOU_ like Shige, Koyama. And yes, I like Jin, I don’t really get it yet either, but whenever I see that guy, Suga Shikao gets stuck in my head on repeat, and it makes me think very, _very_ naughty things. Why, what of it?”  
  
“Nothing, I mean, I think it’s great—Wait, what do you mean _I_ like Shige? What the hell are you even talking about?” Koyama in panicked defensive mode was really a thing to behold; I could only imagine his brain firing off a number of contradictory impulses all at once in an attempt to regain control.  
  
“Jesus, Koyama. What? Do I _need_ to come up to you all flaily and claiming that I like Shige, spouting that he might be _the one_ , thus providing you with a catalyst to realize this? YOU LIKE SHIGE. You have for months. I’ve been sitting here watching both of you poke and prod at each other back and forth for the past 3 months and it goes well beyond sibling squabbling. And judging from the way he was acting at that concert the other day, never once taking his eyes off of you, I think it can confidently be said that he most definitely feels the same.”  
  
“Wait— what? I’m just— HUH? You know this is SO not what the script says, or the book for that matter…”  
  
“Yeah, fuck that shit. I like Jin. I have since the first day I came to this school. It just took me forever to admit it. Besides that, this story’s long enough without adding in _more_ drama about you angsting over a potential me-you-Shige love triangle. And no, don’t even look at me like that, because I _do not_ do threesomes.”  
  
Koyama stood there, dazed shock covering his face as he stared in my direction, but not at me, his mouth hanging open as he tried to form words that wouldn’t come out. Laughing at his plight, I stood up and placed my hands solidly on his shoulders to push him back down onto the couch. “Sit, and close your mouth before you catch a fly.”   
  
Blinking, Koyama refocused on me, a half smile tugging at his mouth as he sighed out “ _I_ like Shige. I do. Oh god, Maru, what the hell am I supposed to do about this?” As if someone had flipped a switch he curled up on himself, head firmly clasped in hands, elbows perched on knees. The sound of the front door opening and keys being deposited on the foyer table cut through the air, Shige’s voice announcing that he was home shortly thereafter. Head snapping up, his eyes fixing on me in full panic, Koyama reached up and grabbed my hand “What do I do Maru?? Seriously, help me out here.”  
  
Smiling, I lowered into a crouch so that I could look Koyama head on. “You, my friend, are going to take 2 minutes to collect yourself so that you don’t look like a 12 year-old freshly thrown into a pederasts’ convention, because right now, you totally do. Then, you are going to get up, shake this off, and saunter into whatever room Shige is in, playfully criticize him for some small thing—this being Shige, I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding something—did you know he wanted to drop out of high school and join a ska band in the 11th grade? You can work gold from that-- whatever, I really don’t care. HOWEVER, dear God, if you do _not_ jump that man in the next 30 minutes I am going straight to the entire school with copies of those photos from when you went through that Morrissey phase 6 years ago, and no, I will not tell you where I got them, just know that I have my sources.” That having been said, I stood, picked up my jacket and bag, and headed for the door.  
  
“Wait— you’re leaving?” I took it as a good sign that Koyama no longer looked or sounded panicked, mild annoyance having replaced them on his features.  
  
“Of course I am. I need a date for the Domotos’ reception on Saturday. I have to go hunt up a slacker loadie and convince him that it would be in his _very_ best interests to consider joining me.” I flashed a wicked grin back at Koyama as I walked out of the room, waggling my fingers in farewell, “Have fu~n!” And with that, I headed back to the school in the hopes of finding a certain _irresistible_ dancer.


End file.
